Alone I move

I speak.I smile. I shout
Why you cry.Why you feel dry
I blame .Yes I blame him.
Haunt me now & then.The venus.
Why can't I move right
Why can't I speak tight

Am I a dragon.Am I an empty gun
No one around me.No one beside me.
No one with me.Everyone ahead of me.
Mocking.Playing.Blaming. Ah!!!.......

Aren't am a human.Aren't am alive
Don't I have a heart.Can't I smile for a while.
I know nothing to it.I take everything of it.
World's not for me I agree
People not for me I agree
But don't make me fake
Make me to my degree.

I know.I know the choice I have.
To choose the world or christ
But I am innocent now.dumb now
I can smell yet there's no flower
I can touch yet there's no skin
I can play yet no game
Can I live a life so lame?

The pocket I have is empty
The heart I have is bleedy
The ears I have are tired
My way.My way seems to be wired
I ask you my Lord.Is this the game.
The game you play now & then.
If yes then say you don't lie
Coz I can never know why

I am blind.But I can see.
Open the world so I can be in.

Nature-caper

Play of time is known to me,yet am ignorant
Assumption is the rock.The rock that stops the flow

I find tears in the pool of smile
I see death evolved from the first breath
I see I am deaf.I cry I am set.
I shout I am high .I move but.But I lie


Mirage is what I must say.Should I ?
Solving the maze is the passion now
And fun is the nature's gestures
Just have stopped.To wait & watch
Watch the life like flow of time.

The way

i KNOW...the truth lies here...in me...
The importance can't be neglected as it the seen path as for now...
Keep thinking...about
people....places.....things...relationships.....existence...I know you will get an answer
Keep thinking!!!!

I love you Mom

Don't know.Read a mail.Got emotional. Hence I am writing here...
I love my mother,the only person who loves me.It may sound crude...but in the toughest definition she would be suited.
I don't know how ....why.Just she is someone I will always miss once she is not in my life.
Sometimes a cold shiver runs through my body thinking that she will not be here in a few years...
Oh....this is reality.
What can I do?.... I can make her smile....I can be what she wants of me.....I can be her SON.
I love you mother....

Ladle is your weapon when I fight in cradle
Love is the dose when am among thorns
The feeling.The feeling always remains
What will transedental do here?
The link is unknown but the touch is inherited
You have loved me, how will I do to you?
Can I?Can I be what is I am supposed to be
Mom.My Darling!.I will.A promise .
Will not let you go like the way you have been.
:*:*:*:*:*:* and yeah one thing I know
My end is in cove and my life is your love.

And again

Great the plans were in light
Amazing was the zeal for change
Moved I from the start first
Landed into the clone of pit
In the living mass was I stuck
Witnessed the death of rhythem
Away from the desired I am
Now.Now once again dead again

ReD SaturDay!!

Carefree?......
Focus?..........

yes....remember the words of AVP!!!!

Move .....just move.

Yea one more thing...I got really scared today travelling in the local trains alone..

Ambitious

Now reading about Sabeer Bhatia has made me to think about " Ambition" .Am I ambitious.
What exactly one mean by being ambitious.It means to achieve great places in life.Not just in economic terms but in terms of popularity.
Again I think I am not ambitious and hence I am not moving a

a new thing!!!

what is this all:)



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My Slide Show Click here to watch the slideshow.

My Slide Show Click here to watch the slideshow.

Slide Show Filmstrip Previews

Ah.....mime

Sometimes miming can be real too.

Its so difficulty to copy Arun Govil:P

WOw......it feels so nice to act...this is my pic acting in a "street play"
in IIMA.
WE had won 1st prize for that~~~:) 

Valentine's Day

14th Feb
A day to express one's feelings, to allow the emotions flow like a river meeting into the ocean of love and faith.Mine is interesting too.
Being caught in the dogma of multiple theories,i cant decide for myself what I want.In fact the whole concept of "desire" is not stable.
I like a girl but not fully..only some major parts .But still why I am made to think of her.Just becauise i have no one else to fill the position i think she may have in case no one is there.
Again, its so nice to see,to know such a nice person.I dont know what they think of me but atleast know that i feel very honest with her and I am what I am with her.
I wish He allows me to meet such people all my life.

NOW I THINK I NEED YOU LORD.

Waiting!!!

Waitin can be so fun & so disastrous. Taking an incidence of my own life.
Nature's conspires in different wonderful (sometimes terrible :) ) ways.
I was waiting for a "friend" from Pune. Now the interesting thing is-
i was imaging the possibilities of what is goin to happen after she will come.
What am i gonna wear...i wud be wearing...what kind of attitude i shud have... where
shud we go for together.....in whole i cud make her day!!!!
And then suddenly Nature comes into play...SHE DIDNT COME on day 1.
Not in my wildest dream i had seen that.Now on day 2 waiting for her "call" ready with my jet pack ..still with fear that ....what if she dont come.........

A simple thing

Its so wonderful to be appreciated and so complicated to comprehend the negative comments about the thing which you hvae done conciously.
People go by "statistics",yea true, but is there any harm in thinkin oneself to be someone who would not fit in the graph. Probably this may seem foolish but isnt this which makes one's identity.
And again, even the person would start believing in them.What is then required to preserve his identity? Yes a very explicit answer to this is that- "Prove them by your actions".

This would not only shut their mouths but also will be a proof , a self-satisfyin answer to the identity.

Now as far as I am concerned, the most clear task is the

ACADEMIx
What is needed?
1.) Regular Attendence
2.) Assingments
3.)Weekly review
4.)Taking Exam very seriously
5)Since the performance till now has not been good means that you need to work hard
this time.
6)Dont feel lazy. "Karma is everything".Everything originates from Karma and nothing is
predecided.Feel the power of the free will. You can wash what you have done and what you
dont consider good.Just be brave, do what you feel is right, listen to right people,do right
actions and remember-you can always find a way out!!!


Sports/Physical fitness

Its the most important thing which one can have.Take proper precaution and act . DOnt worry you will not die;)
You have a lot of energies what is needed is the proper channelization.
As far as the games are concerned, focus mainly on
1.)Tennis
2.)Squash
3.)Badiminton

Dramatics
Try to learn new techniques in Dramatics. And be involved in the kind of Drama you like in to be.

English/ Languages
If you want to know more, English is the key to enter different domain. Therefore command on English is an absolute necessity.
I know I want myself to learn new languages, so learn them.
Focus on English.

G.K./History/Mythology

I know you gotta deep interest in all these things so make a routine and keep yourself updating

Guitar/Other Activities

DOnt let the things die.Things die when they are not in motion.



MOST IMPORTANT THING
-------------------- CULTIVATE HABITS but REMEMBER ITS NOT VERY TOUGH
JUST KEEP DOING RIGHT THINGS REGYULARILY AND IT WILL BECOME A HABIT.
Again it may seem that you are bored from a job ...dont worry keep working soon you will
relish.And also its a just a matter of one year:)

YOu will not fall sick again:)!!!!! I promise you

Alcohol

What is my opinion in drinking?
why i started drinking-
1.May be :) a signal to myself that I have grown adult.
2.A "time pass" when with friends
3.For me drinking was not there to be "high".

Again, personally i feel that i dont wish to continue and i definitely will not.
What i think one must think before acting and must not learn to imitate from others.

New Year

First of All
1.What you want
2.The actions must support the goal
3.Resources

I know what I want now 01:48am
The direction of my movement is not right ,rather than going inward definitely I are going in the wrong direction.
Actions must lead to goal-this is the law of Karma.
Impulsive actions may lead to dissappointment and also misery.
Thinkin has to be done,worth and impact of action has to be calculated.

Going to Goa
--a adventure which wud encourage bravery.
--a new experience(of what?)
But again
--is this what you want?no,definitely not this :)
yea, there are times that you feel left,common and dissapointed.

Again...dont dream live in reality....there are always right time for things(right things)[:)].

My article over Mars colonization

Red-The most emotionally intense color ,stimulating a faster heart-
beat and breathing. It is also the color of Love. May be this is
the most non-scientific and illogical statement for the focus on
the "Red Planet-Mars"-What concerns here is far more serious and
adventurous project. The colonization and in the meantime terra-
forming of the planet,i.e. conversion of Mars into an earth like
planet, eventually making it self-sufficient. There has been a
desire to know the possibilities of the existence of life on Mars.
why should humans leave the earth at all?
There have been many
arguments for and against attempting to spread the range of our
species beyond the ecosphere of earth. Looking at the arguments ,
an indispensable truth has come out----- life on mars is not just
a scientific and technological issue but also a cultural and social
one. Mars ,a planet having 24.5 hours long day, is quite similar
to Earth. Being most suited place for life in the solar system
except Earth, Mars is alluring human beings' unsatiable desire for
exploration. Now, what is the benefit of colonizing mars? The
biggest thrust -virtually unlimited supply of resources. Mars is
rich in energy sources like Deuterium(five times the amount present
on earth) which can be used in Nuclear Fusion reaction producing
enormous amount of energy. Also the planet is an abundant source
for rare metals like Gold, silver, platinum etc. Not only this,
almost unlimited iron from the nearby asteroid belt(Dactyl) can be
obtained. Also,it can be a good place to accommodate the ever
increasing number of human skulls. Looking from a Scientific
point of view, it would be a great achievement as it would be a
step-stone to treasure of cosmic knowledge. But again there have
been arguments against the mars project.Like
1)The usage of enormous amount of money for the project for the improvement of human conditions on Earth. 2) The movement to
another place without solving the existing social problems and evils like wars etc.
For the time being,justifying the given reasons for the march towards Mars what do we want?Now this can be thought in two
different wings----infrastructural and social.
Mars don't has gravitational attraction like Earth so the atmosphere cant be retained.Again what impact will it have over human
body is still unknown as universe is full of radiations.Models are being prepared to establish human settlements over Mars.
Another more important aspect--- the kind of society(culture) on Mars.To make the mission successful it cant be just an extension of
dominant culture of earth.Now how can we create a society in which we can live as we want to while incorporating diversity and
individuality and maintaining unity ,or at least cooperation.What culture should be adopted.?Definitely this is the major issue
and require a lot of social study.All the people going to live on Red earth must be re-educated in such a way so that it may lead to creation of
desired place on mars.The political and the social system have to be worked out in such a way that the friction between the two
cultures(earth and mars) may lead to improvement in the existing society.
Another powerful argument going with the self-sufficiency of Mars as a life zone is that earth is prone to catastrophic changes in a period billion years either due
to comet collision or due to some environmental changes.Mars can be a source for the survival of mankind ,the thing which dinosaurs couldn't do at their time.
Imagining that we are successful in creating a terraform on mars ultimately making it self-sufficient.Now one can think another possibility.
On earth,there is no guaranteed harmony even among nations ,what about planets?.Yes,inter-planet wars.If mars is to become self-sufficient
what is the need of earth? This may lead to conflicts.
Actions are done with the focus on end.What is the end? Mars,Jupiter,?Well, there seems to be no end.Going philosophically, are we going in
the right direction? In spite of stepping back and going towards the soul are we moving out in wrong direction? Making daily activities more and more complicated (accepting it to be more comforting),ignoring nature's signs ,are we taking the right step?
In the current world where events and eventually life is governed by greed wearing mask of social act.Even the most powerful country of world
doing act of violence under the pressure of capitalists gains , refusing to discuss it with the rest of the world and peace organizations, justifying it with some inappropriate social cause;is this the right time to think of going out.
The decision ought to be made by us and not just by a handful of people (as project mars is also a gold mine for a few capitalists and countries)

But as we say "might is right" only time holds the key to future. Concluding,the steps towards Mars definitely needs discussion
and shall not be taken in hurry or having a short vision as there are many more other important tasks to be done and puzzles to be solved .

Studying for the end-sems exam, realising the need of improving the grades in them,a thought came to me.The thought was about a guy,Kalidas.
Its quite interesting why out of the blue it came to me.
Well lets focus on his character for a while-
A very stupid person.Gets married to a beautiful girl.Get insutled and leaves for the jungle.
Becomes a scholar and redefines the relationship with his wife.
Well this is not something ordinary.
For the past a few days, there has been a drastic change in my philosophy of life.
The biggest change rather-my opinion about myself.
The way I look -the way i behave-the way i react-the way i accept-the way i think........its not just i say they are wrong...just when you see the people around......their thoughts sometimes...make me to think over myself.....and over what is all happening..

The fundaes about God....about life.......expectations ........relations..:) all really are so ..much complicated.
What is the problem??...i tend to believe whatever i read or hear and its a blend of multiple
logics that has lead to the problem in my own decisions.

What i feel about me?

1. Socially i dont know how i am, perhaps needs a lot of improvement.
2. Relationships-dont know..just I know I am good to only those who love me for without any gains.
3. Interests-many ...and simply none.
4. Philosophy-Confused state right now

BUT WHAT I HAVE REALISED THAT I NEED TO CULTIVATE ONE THING
.............THE ATTITUDE TO ----WORK......but again....
i want to know everythin in a very short time.....surprisingly a friend of mine (Neemi) either
guessed or..derived :)...whatever ..but i think that is the only big problem..

Now whether it is a problem...or somethin desirable...time wil tell...but for now..enjoy;)

Oedipus

The First Oracle

Laius, ruler of Thebes is told in an oracle that his son will kill him. With agreement of his wife, Jocasta, the baby's feet are pinioned and it's given to a slave to be "exposed" on nearby Mt Cithaeron, (haunt of wolves and other wild beasts). The slave, a shepherd of Laius' flocks, takes pity on the baby, and instead of leaving it to die, gives the boy to a fellow-shepherd from Corinth, the other side of the mountain. The Corinthian shepherd presents the baby to the childless King of Corinth, Polybus, who brings him up as his own, presumably giving him the name "Oedipus" (Swollen Foot) because of his deformity.

The Second Oracle

Eighteen years (or so) later, someone at a party calls the young Oedipus a bastard - and the insult rankles. He leaves Corinth for Delphi, to confirm his parentage at the oracle of Apollo. The oracle, however, gives him instead a horrific prediction : he will kill his father and sleep with his mother. In case the oracle could conceivably come true accidentally, he sets off in the opposite direction to Corinth, and heads towards Thebes. As he descends from Parnassus towards the foothills, he meets an old man driving a waggon with a retinue of slaves at a place where three roads meet. The man is rude and aggressive, and orders him off the road. Oedipus refuses to budge and the man lashes out with his goad. Oedipus (an early instance of "road rage"?) sees red, and kills the man and - as he thinks - all the guards. He continues to Thebes.

Click on the thumbnail for full picture and discussion of the Oedipus Crossroads location.

The Riddle of the Sphinx

Thebes is terrorised by a monster - the Sphinx (a hybrid creature, with the body of a lioness. the head of a woman, and wings), who destroys all who cannot solve her riddle. Sophocles doesn't go into any detail about this riddle - other writers tell us it was "Which animal has one voice, but two, three or four feet being slowest on three?" Perhaps Oedipus, as a man with three feet thanks to his disability was uniquely well placed to answer it : "Man". Oedipus' staff will be crutch, murder weapon and blind man's stick before the play is over. Thebes welcomes her saviour and offers him the vacant job of ruler, and the hand of Laius' widow, Jocasta, as an extra reward.

Click on the picture for a very full discussion of the Sphinx.

The Third Oracle

More years pass, during which Oedipus fathers four children by Jocasta. Gradually Thebes succumbs to a vile plague, which kills animals, children and crops alike. Oedipus, the king, promises to save his city. Plagues are caused by pollution which is caused by sin - and only the god can reveal its cause. Thus Oedipus sends his brother-in-law Creon to consult the oracle at Delphi once more: the god's answer is that the plague is caused by an unpunished murder - that of the former ruler, Laius. Oedipus places a terrible curse on the killer - whoever he may be, and turns for help to Teiresias, the respected prophet. Teiresias tells Oedipus that he is the killer, and hints at even worse crimes. Oedipus is enraged, believing that Teiresias and Creon have concocted this story to dethrone him and seize power for themselves. Teiresias departs with dire threats, while Creon tries to argue his innocence. Oedipus rejects his pleading, and would have had him executed but for the intervention of Jocasta - who has close ties to them both.

The Place where Three Roads Meet

Hearing that their quarrel was about an oracle, Jocasta reassures her husband by saying that oracles are nonsense - she and her Laius were given one telling them that their son would kill its father. The father was killed, by robbers at a place where three roads meet, and the son died an innocent baby. But Oedipus remembers killing a man at such a place - what if he was Laius? He himself would be the cursed polluter of Thebes. No, says Jocasta, the witness - the man who escaped - said it was robbers. One man cannot equal many. Oedipus fears will only be laid to rest if the witness can be found. He's sent for.

The Corinthian Messenger

But the new arrival isn't the witness - it's a messenger from Corinth, to tell Oedipus that Polybus, his father is dead - he will now be King of Corinth too. Oedipus says he can never go back to Corinth while his mother is alive. "But there's nothing to fear,"says the messenger, hoping to ingratiate himself with his new king, "She wasn't your mother, nor was Polybus your father." He explains how the baby was given to him by a shepherd from Thebes. Jocasta now knows the truth - that Oedipus is her son - and rushes out. Oedipus thinks she's embarrassed because her husband might have been an unwanted child, perhaps a slave's.

The Old Shepherd - the Truth at last.

At last the Theban shepherd arrives. This turns out to be the same man who had been sent for as the witness to the murder of Laius. He is very reluctant to say anything to Oedipus. Under threat of torture, he reveals that the baby was given to him by Jocasta to be killed - and that he'd passed it on to the Corinthian out of pity. Oedipus now knows the whole truth and rushes off to find Jocasta - but she 's already hanged herself. He takes the shoulder-pins from her dress and blinds himself. And so Creon does become ruler, and after allowing the blinded Oedipus to say goodbye to his daughters, orders him into the house, to await disposal at the god's pleasure. Oedipus goes in, continuing to insist he should be left to die on Cithaeron as the gods originally intended.

Possible interpretations

Ancient background

Apart from the obviously significant religious message that "you can't escape your fate" it's important to realise :

1. Oedipus wasn't as innocent under Greek law as he might appear under English or Roman : (non est actus reus nisi mens sit rea - there is no guilty act without a guilty mind). To the Greeks the act counted, not the motive.
2. The murder of Laius wasn't a crime per se - in fact it was any Greek's duty to harm his enemies (as well as helping his friends). And as far as he knew at the time Laius was an enemy - by insulting Oedipus he had made himself one.
3. Family was everything in Greek culture. (Compare the Godfather films of Francis Ford Coppola to get the flavour of the intensity of family feeling.) Thus the worst conceivable crime was to kill one's father; the second worst was to sleep with one's mother. (More than just an incest taboo is involved here.) No Greek could imagine a worse 'double' than Oedipus'. Mass murder as in Dunblane or a serial killer such as Fred West would have been far less abhorrent. Modern cult use of the word 'motherfucker' could only happen in a culture where the power of the family is waning fast.
4. Oedipus - the greatest of men, the solver of riddles - can only solve the riddle of his own origins by revealing a truth too awful to bear.
5. The power of the curse - Oedipus, having cursed the murderer of Laius - feels he must carry out the sentence on himself.

Eklavya

Eklavya

Near the ashrama of Drona, where Arjuna and his brothers used to take lessons in various arts, there lived a small bright boy, shudra by caste (lower caste). His name was Eklavya. He had great desire to learn the art of archery from Dronacharya. But his mother had told him that as a shudra, Acharya Drona would not accept Eklavya as his disciple. It was futile to dream of such a privilege.

But the boy was not be put off, his determination knew no bounds. Near his house, under a tree Eklavya installed a clay idol of Dronacharya that he worshiped as his Guru! Daily, morning and evening, this devotee put flower and natural perfumes in front of this image and took Self-Lessons in the art of bow and arrow. The talented young Eklavya soon acquired high knowledge in archery. He attributed his success to his Guru Dronacharya.

One day, as it happened, Acharya Drona and Arjuna were passing near the hut of Eklavya. It was pleasant and peaceful afternoon and people were taking rest. But the tranquility and silence was broken by constant barking of a dog. Eklavya did not like this, and therefore, he shut the mouth of the dog with an arrow! Dronacharya and Arjuna were surprised to see the dog with his mouth sealed with an arrow!

Naturally the curious Arjuna asked his Gurudev as to who could have done this delicate job. Even Dronacharya was amazed and knew the archer must be exceptionally skilled artist. They decided to trace this skillful fellow and reached the spot where Eklavya was practicing wonders with his bow and arrow in front of the clay image of Drona. It took no time for Dronacharya to understand the situation. He realized that Eklavya was superior to Arjuna in some respects. Dronacharya loved Arjuna very much and had declared him to be the best archer on the earth. Hence the Guru thought for awhile and came to a decision to remove Eklavya as a competitor to Arjuna.

Dronacharya went to Eklavya and said, "O young man, who has taught you such wonderful skills in archery! Who is your Guru?"

Seeing the Guru in front of him, the boy Eklavya was more that overjoyed and said, "Why, O Gurudev, this all is your grace! I worship you as my Guru. Look you are there in that image!"

Dronacharya was pleased with the dedication of Eklavya, and said, "I bless you my son. But as is customary, won't you give me my fees - Guru-Dakshina!"

[It is customary in India to give to the Guru whatever he demands as his fees - Guru-Dakshina for the knowledge the Guru has given to the disciple.]

Eklavya was overwhelmed to see Dronacharya had accepted him as his disciple! Out he said, "O Honourable Teacher, whatever you ask, this humble disciple of yours will try his utmost to offer you as Guru-Dakshina!
I am blessed."

And now comes a very touching and pathetic incidence in Mahabharata.

Guru Drona said, "O Eklavya, I am pleased with your respect for Guru. I want the thumb of your right hand as my fees- Guru-Dakshina."

The trees and atmosphere around stood still for a minute! Even Arjuna was stunned on listening to the unusual and almost cruel demand of his Guru. To ask for the thumb of an archer was equivalent to almost kill him! How could Dronacharya demand such a heavy prize from one disciple to protect the honour of the other!

But Eklavya had no such remorse. Unruffled and with due humility, cheerfully and without protest, he cut his right thumb and placed at the feet of Dronacharya. Gods in the heaven silently praised the greatness of Eklavya's sacrifice.

What is life & what are we doing---

When i was in 9th standard,few things used to come into my mind

• why am i here
• what is the purpose of life
• where does universe end
• who and what is god

there were no . of such questions unanswered........:) but ultimately
The more you go into this the more complex it becomes .:)
anyway...will talk about this later.