Division of Self

With a number of 'thoughts' which treat or percieve life and it's elements(desires), I am restless if such is a journey in the quest for the truth. The need for the right dress for self such that I can go out without fear and full faith is of the utmost importance as the 'desire' to 'fit' is in it's greatest manisfestation.

I am an actor. A performer in the fleshy stage
Different roles irk me, taking me from a devil to a sage
I breathe to live where living changes it's name
From right action to emotion, from self to servant
I swing in the waves of questions, each giving me child of its own
Can I nuture each one of them? I wish I'd known

I feel the time must be caught
Not by hand or foot but a persistent thought
Of growth of self, of the death of past
With senses at their best yet choosing a middle path

Everywhere are the answers, all are pushing us
To get lazy in our thoughts, and accepting dreams as ours
Should we wake up now is the desire unknown
Just walk and walk, And it shall be a morning of an unseen glow

Mother!

What when she would be lonely? She might think this way only when she has my realizations with her. Anywayz.....

Mother! When I become your voice

I love you my son; my heart, my soul
Strange is the strings of age in the midst of time's rage
Neither she lives, nor you are seen
When the heart cries to touch, kiss or pinch moments of love
Timeless era is dark to me; alas! just living is the way
I fear, you may forget me as I die to think dying alone
When Lord seems to be an alien and kids to be as if in space
Here, memories & desires fill the fears of an empty human soul
Life's cruelity pushed the time to gain speed
Taking my childhood in your childish screams
From a daughter to a wife, from a mother to a teacher
I served you all with a smile; but closed eyes
I see my breath fading away
And I wish for sometime; some words from my son
Or I guess, I should just rest. And pray, to the Lord of the Sun

Some more old thougts for my Old-Man

Once upon a time on Orkut, in the midst of lazy nights
New were my words and virgin was the burning community
I wrote smiles, I was treated with roasted mice
I tried to reconcile, yet racial games got just right
In reply to her stupidity, I wrote the following lines
Not for her, but for me and my darling grandfather

"I am sorry for you grandma....................it tuned some strings....I love my grandpa.This time during holidays ,for the first time I had spent so much time with him & was able to analyse him(his character... at the age of 85 he washes his own clothes,even when his cancer has been detected)..man of character...and I am scared that he might not live longer...and as I don't live with him ..I am scared that I might not be with him in his last moments.
So I tried to put myself into the following lines... "


I fly on the mat of your tales, when I can't walk
You hold me when I cry.I cry but you wet me when I am dry
The lessons were not learnt, rather were made eternal
The smile seemed to be lost, still your charm topped
The craze was countered, wisdom of white shone
The love flown and the care.The care was known
Scary is the thought.I failed.I failed to say goodbye
To hold your sand is what I want.I want you to hold on
Hold on till I be strong to go on.Stay there and don't move
Even if you do, I promise what you taught me will not move.

Actually, it did happen... he died when I was away.

Some old work -- STARS~~

Stars
Stars.Stars are the key of hole
Hole.Hole which is darker than the soul
No feeling of turning it,everthing seems so fake
Scared of the sound I am .The sound it would make
Dost be there when I shout.Its for us,the treasure.Y you?
ForWeak I am, and alone. Can sing, can dance but it's weak
Weak is the core