Division of Self

With a number of 'thoughts' which treat or percieve life and it's elements(desires), I am restless if such is a journey in the quest for the truth. The need for the right dress for self such that I can go out without fear and full faith is of the utmost importance as the 'desire' to 'fit' is in it's greatest manisfestation.

I am an actor. A performer in the fleshy stage
Different roles irk me, taking me from a devil to a sage
I breathe to live where living changes it's name
From right action to emotion, from self to servant
I swing in the waves of questions, each giving me child of its own
Can I nuture each one of them? I wish I'd known

I feel the time must be caught
Not by hand or foot but a persistent thought
Of growth of self, of the death of past
With senses at their best yet choosing a middle path

Everywhere are the answers, all are pushing us
To get lazy in our thoughts, and accepting dreams as ours
Should we wake up now is the desire unknown
Just walk and walk, And it shall be a morning of an unseen glow

Mother!

What when she would be lonely? She might think this way only when she has my realizations with her. Anywayz.....

Mother! When I become your voice

I love you my son; my heart, my soul
Strange is the strings of age in the midst of time's rage
Neither she lives, nor you are seen
When the heart cries to touch, kiss or pinch moments of love
Timeless era is dark to me; alas! just living is the way
I fear, you may forget me as I die to think dying alone
When Lord seems to be an alien and kids to be as if in space
Here, memories & desires fill the fears of an empty human soul
Life's cruelity pushed the time to gain speed
Taking my childhood in your childish screams
From a daughter to a wife, from a mother to a teacher
I served you all with a smile; but closed eyes
I see my breath fading away
And I wish for sometime; some words from my son
Or I guess, I should just rest. And pray, to the Lord of the Sun

Some more old thougts for my Old-Man

Once upon a time on Orkut, in the midst of lazy nights
New were my words and virgin was the burning community
I wrote smiles, I was treated with roasted mice
I tried to reconcile, yet racial games got just right
In reply to her stupidity, I wrote the following lines
Not for her, but for me and my darling grandfather

"I am sorry for you grandma....................it tuned some strings....I love my grandpa.This time during holidays ,for the first time I had spent so much time with him & was able to analyse him(his character... at the age of 85 he washes his own clothes,even when his cancer has been detected)..man of character...and I am scared that he might not live longer...and as I don't live with him ..I am scared that I might not be with him in his last moments.
So I tried to put myself into the following lines... "


I fly on the mat of your tales, when I can't walk
You hold me when I cry.I cry but you wet me when I am dry
The lessons were not learnt, rather were made eternal
The smile seemed to be lost, still your charm topped
The craze was countered, wisdom of white shone
The love flown and the care.The care was known
Scary is the thought.I failed.I failed to say goodbye
To hold your sand is what I want.I want you to hold on
Hold on till I be strong to go on.Stay there and don't move
Even if you do, I promise what you taught me will not move.

Actually, it did happen... he died when I was away.

Some old work -- STARS~~

Stars
Stars.Stars are the key of hole
Hole.Hole which is darker than the soul
No feeling of turning it,everthing seems so fake
Scared of the sound I am .The sound it would make
Dost be there when I shout.Its for us,the treasure.Y you?
ForWeak I am, and alone. Can sing, can dance but it's weak
Weak is the core

Break from Life

Silence - a response to unsure ears

Expressions sweeten my cup of relations
In sorrow, in fear & in love; in feelings for someone dear
My thoughts gets a face, their voice sounds in ears
On the regular track of this world,alas! the choice creeps in
Of those who can understand and of those who simply cares
The search may be of millions or the sight of an empty pillion
Then the silence may be the music, and the penned art be its beats
So no one gets irked, of course you & especially me
And all live in their world singing loudly what they call real.

Excavations

Just when I am about to leave IIT, I've found a piece of paper on the back of which are the following bursts of mine.

1)
In the ocean of beauty, all beauty burns alike
With different faith & different dress, they seem to look alike
What the child has on its face, what the saint on his brows
Life breeds life shouts it all, still we live like Gods in all
No worries, no question, no life at my own behest
It's a journey to live & feel like one never before

2)
I burn in dreams, desires kill me
I live in you; you touch me with your words
I trust you; you test me, you question me
I want to control but I loose me but not by me
Hold me, talk to me & walk with me
Give me a chance again, a time of this life again

Strange threads

Even when things are pretty black & white, I tend to live her time through thoughts & imaginations. The feeling is strange as it strengthens the concept of 'lost love of divinity'. If the lonliness of soul is for real, then the various 'wells of life' deserves respect in the name of the Absolute.

Your life through my spark

Imagination surmounts the real life winds
The past stabs the present in future spots
The sun burns the stars; the thought digs the love
Among the fight of real, unreal & Self; I die
Every moment, every smile & every known breath
I live there in my time, I spread here for your space
Hooked to the clueless bonds, I wonder the precious song
In loving melodies & meloncholy screams of lonely soul
The divine, perhaps, is at work; the devil may be in action
But Truth seems nearer; Oh! It exists in a different world

When I hear " Thank You"

She thanked me. I was hurt. The intimate smiles & the depth of trust were estranged with these two words. When the prof. started teaching......

Say it with no sound

The world of thanks holds many worlds
And floating thoughts & gestures among the Gods
A thanks kills my ego; it breeds crack in love
Sounds of humility burns trustful leaves
As the credit of love splits into loans of altruism
Thin line of identity marks the end of absolute

Alas! we accept the truth of our lonely relative world

Dep Valfi

I didn't feel like attending the department valedictory function as I found that I'd no emotions for the event. Furthermore, my mental state didn't permit me to stay there just to please my friends. They got annoyed and left me wondering why.


Am I blind?

Can I see if I am mad?
Is right what makes everyone bright?
Judge is me, the person is me
The lawyer is me & the punishment is me
Have I grown up for this kind of place
Did I learn which you call the worldly ways?
What can I do when the world is different for me
Where living has been abandoned in search of life
And the moment has been embraced among tears & smiles

Don't stop me and just let me wear
The masks you say I have if at all
Not proud I am to see you sad
As I did not intend such tyranny
It's my loss of prestige & attention
Which you give me in dose of love
Do I apologize is the question unknown
But the feeling's not a desire; that's for sure.

What if I could wish~!

I can feel a strange pain; a fear that she has chosen the tough path to evolve. The fear has it's origin from a sense of belonging; who & whom? I have no answer.


Love calls for words

In the world of I, the decision is yours
As the life is yours & yours are its seeds
Of pain & pleasure, of thorns & treasures
As they lie in the womb of unknown seconds

I see the blood, I feel the pain
As you run from now and call for the breath
Midst mist of cough and you thought some death
Alas! Thus, tired of the screams you set to shout

Darker is the life it seems to me
Don't live in it rather embrace the death

Strange it is, the bonds of love
Binding one end with the others' right to fly free
The judgment suspends you, my questions censure me
To feel it again, to think of you again

What can I do so doing may not be yours
May be it's your embrace that's the victory of bond
But you seem to fail, as we all do in many
As we keep them waiting, and leave them burning.

When the prof. teaches......

1)

Rules of the game engulf the scent
Of spirit, of reason, of dream, of sense
Clouds of wrath changes face in dawn
As they pour the unknown fears

Swinging in the yes & swirling in the no
I smile, I cry, I wet myself & I feel dry
Time kills my dream, I kill its essence
I wonder what it is, and I am bound in its state

2)

Dissatisfaction deludes dozen doves of divinity
Charming cheers chill the clumsy chores in me
Spreading sporting shells of surprises they share
Bringing bliss, beast and beauty blasts on my board

Oasis

Rose is finally engaged. I am happy for her. May she finds her way to the dimension which we all seek knowingly or unknowingly.


Endless was the ocean, 'wet' were all the dreams
As I sailed through the sea of life in this growing ship
No dear, no near just a dim light of Him
Now shows it's lustre in form of a new realm
Green in it's form, fresh in it's smell
It's an oasis midst lonely waters
The land may be hot, the winds may be cold
But I shall not stop as it's a step to move and learn
The life's lesson to grow forever now rings in me
The distant Home of me now feels close to me

Wish you a birthday - full of realizations :) !!!

A traveller

Can you tell me what is it :)?


Go to the light to crush the dark
As the darkness is here, nor where we belong
Lost like strangers we walk here, for days long like years
In search of us, in search of love
The mind, the heart where stops commenting
The day shall come soon. when we will stop lamenting

Congratulations!!!

Paresh bhaiya finally entered the next level in the game of life. I wish him all the luck and smiles.

New is the breath, fresh is the feeling

In the place of unknown, I call you my own

Allow me to touch you, permit me to love you

Not like always but in many ways still one

The son in me looks for the shroud

The blanket of love for not me but us

The task is to stitch it, the plan is to work

You and you shall do it for all

Not now, not then but like a forever song

The brother in me showers respect

The bowed persona like the humble pie

Demanding her Right to Family with love & pride

O my dear ones! Unite but hug & fight

The person in me requests you and you

Life's not a game, still play it like never

Not mind, not brain, not emotions but faith

Look inside yourself for the divine grace

Not all get it, not all feel it

The magic of Some in the unearthly love

There's no hurry but the time is on run

Minds are many, but the feeling is one

Wishes flow to you, prayer goes to you

Do not sleep, do not run

Just. Just pray and see the fun.

Best of luck -

And smile as this was not your last mistake :P

I pray you have the mercy of Krsna!

Vibhu :)

A cry of a child

O Krishna! My lost love, My lost self
Time binds me, thoughts weakens me
The floating log hits me, the deep well sucks me
Your name is the key, Your Hand is the way
O my Master, O my Lord, make me Yours
My will is weak, my brain's torture
No independence I need now, till I grow
Grow to know You, to feel You as Your servant
Busy in You,loving You, serving You
O Krishna show me the way, give me the legs
For I know not how to walk, I know not how to sing
On the path of Your kingdom, the songs of Your mercy.

I am Time

Gautam, a lovely guy, scraped after a long time. His mentioning of 'time' opened my wings & I flew to touch Him through my words.

Time flies like the dreams of the night
Calling me black, green, blue, or white
Smile turns to me, pain beholds
Luxury I know not what, but divinity not to be told
Slowly & steadily I move with it
On the path of love & might
The stages are dark, the divide is clear
From one to other, I jump with smile
As always like never before, I claim to live
Loving you, loving me I act for Thy command
Time!......you were here & you will be here
Like The Me & The You, we'll reach there
To become One, still other
To Love You. still be loved

The Last Wedding

An old friend, first skype first, finally got her man. I am happy for her & wish her all the best for her life, which is in fact His.

The prince & the princess finally met again
Holding hands, dancing lips, they share again
The moments of touch, the moments of love

You are lucky Ju, I wish still more luck
The smile is there, I wish it stuck
Take care of the prince, and thus be loved

It's a new life, it's a new sun
Just look at the light, and have fun
Do what you like, do what he likes
Play like crazy, live like a daisy
Just as a friend, I request you now
As you live, do not forget HIM( the Lord)

My heart awaits

I want to paint you, compose you like a song
I want to touch you, lick you like the last drop
My ears cries for your voice, eyes crawl for the smile
The moments are mine. still these are all yours
You may be true, you may be false
Do I care? It's not a WAR
Am I real? a question of thought
Let me speak, let me talk
Let me kiss, let me spark
Oh! my love look here.
I am waiting for you.




The cry of the moment

No matter how much I write, I miss you
No matter how much I cry, I am dry
The feeling is only you, the answer is only you
I want to express, I wish to explode
How? I don't know. When? I don't know
You are my words, you are my poem
Emotions are you, these moments are you
Gone are those when the heart was lonely
Now someone dwells here, that someone is you
No past, no future, only present is the call Neha
I like you, I love you, this is NOW, forget rest all




The vanity of tears

I wish to become water, if the thirst is you
I wish to become smell, if the flower is you
Take me when you need me, do not think twice
I am yours, I am yours, it's just a matter of time

You make me dance, when you smile
You burn me like hell,the day you cry
Make me your medicine, give me your pain
For you are sweet & soft, for this destiny's game

Your tears are precious, your smile priceless
Like the thoughts in mind, your pain is worthless
Blessed are those, who have known you
Stupid are those, who have hurt you
Your heart is pure, your clothes have dirt
But the clothes will die, and you will be loved
Loved by Him, loved by all

No reason to cry, no reason to stop
Just live & love and love and live.

Her sister was hit by a couple of men. This triggered the romance to Truth.

The sound of deaf, the vision of blind

It's not your mistake, it's not mine
The pain is not now, the blood is not then
The suffering was there when you born
The suffering will be here when you die
No escape other than Lord, the truth I tell you now
No running away, no hiding away, it's the only way
People say a million things, they can't beat the death
The death which comes here like disease and pain
Again & again, but we think it's fine, and cry in vain

Life is beautiful, for the eyes who see Him
The touch is beautiful, for the sense who feels Him
The stone turns to flower, the fire turns to life
That is His magic, alas! we say we don't want.

We feel we are free, and the masters of our life
The life which kicks us, and always make us blind
Blind for the Love, blind for the Truth
We live with the closed eyes


No misery exists, no pain remains
When His name is called, the world seems rolled
Rolled in Love, coiled in Love
No pain, no tears, no fear stands
Just the moment rules and everything else's none
If not Him, then the life's a waste.